Today is my birthday. My uncle died yesterday. I feel like crap, and my head, back, and stomach hurt. My throat is hurting so much I can't even function. My body hurts and I feel horrible. My mother and my grandma looked so sad, they didn't even cry. I don't understand how they are so strong. They are some strong individuals that I came from.

Today is September 8th, 2013. I am back from Michigan and I am emtionally tired. Inside my head I am ready to go back to school, but physically I feel horrible. Seeing all the people in my family cry that I never seen cry, made me feel so different. From this point on; I might not be the Shakira Black that everybody knows. On top of that, my father has not contacted me in weeks. I feel like he does not even care that my uncle passed away. Since the day I told my dad, he tried to act like he cared about my mother. My mother was not having that. My grandmother she is the one that always says," Boo, everything is going to be ok. All you can do is trust and believe in GOD. He will make you through any tough times that the one below throws at you. You can over-come anything." And too this day I charish what my grandmother has told me because she is the head of my life, the rock of my building and the laces to my shoes. This might not be long, but this is all I can come up with because I am so heart broken.

M

y name? You want to know it? It's Shakira Kiana Black, and I'm a 16 year old senior at Princeton High School. My favorite colors are purple, black and white. I am African- American. I have 1 sister and 2 brothers. I and my father don’t get along that much. He is diabetic and he doesn’t take his medicine sometimes. I try to help him and he doesn’t listen. My mother suffers from a depression, and I as well suffer from it. I am very reserve when it comes to friends, and meeting new people. When it comes to a lot of people I am a very shy person.             

My blog is about me as well as my situations that I go through weekly, sometimes daily. My blog stands for me. Who I am and what I like and, as well as my dilemmas. Something’s that I struggle with would be me being a homosexual female. People push down on me and try to change me. But, I am me and I feel like I should express myself because I am not ashamed of anything. People judge me by the way I look, the color of my skin, my shoe size and as well as other things. I sometimes don’t understand why people have to judge on something so gentle. I love showing people I care. An Issued Blogger, something that people could relate too. As well, as people can understand what I have been through and possibly change their minds on how they view me.

I have a lot of struggles and issues. People have judged me before they even know me. People judge me based on my attitude. My attitude that I show towards people is a reflection of how I act. I being a Princeton student is a big deal with my family. I wanted to move along time ago and my mother just teased me and said I can get through it. I get judged by walking down the hallway, if people knew the real me then they would understand that I get depressed just because. I’m helpless at times; sometimes I have thoughts of death and failure. Failure is a big deal when you try so hard every day to please people when you barely please yourself.

Creative Writing class for me would be helpful for me to express my feelings and show people the real Shakira Kiana Black instead of that, “Dark skinned chick”.